Renovating. The thought exciting, overwhelming, anxiety producing tension. Renovating. It begins with a vision, a feeling, a great idea. A yearning for something different, something new, to move the hands and mind in new innovative ways. There are color bursts, room upon room pictures, landscape books, architectural feats of shapes and designs, ponds with ducks and waterfalls in sinks and bathtubs, not to mention the showers. The possibilities are endless. And then comes the budget. The constraints that tie us in and bind our aspirations. The responsibilities that say No, this is just not possible, at least for today. The inevitable plan B. Oh, and don’t forget the green renovations that reduce costs through energy savings. Good for the soul, good for the planet and wallet.
Renovations. They are a personal choice. Somewhere deep inside of yourself there is a master plan and design. You know what you like and don’t. What speaks to you, whispers softly, yells loudly. Colors that make you cringe, colors that soothe your soul. Spaces that you automatically feel at home in and spaces that make you want to exit as soon as possible. There are spaces where you long to curl up on a soft mattress with your favorite blanket and a book and there are places where you want to invite others in to share your space. There are spaces for nourishing and places for cleansing. There are you spaces and other spaces. Wide open places and closed close spaces. Whatever the place or space, you recognize the energy within it. Comfortable, at ease, sunny or dense. You determine the energy of the place or space and sometimes it is the energy of others that somehow doesn’t quite resonate or fit with you.
Renovations. As on the outside so it is within. We unknowingly know when renovations are needed or required within. Its becomes a feeling like “ants in your pants” making you wiggle and jiggle. It feels like the clothes you are wearing are too small, or perhaps like having a bad hair day. It’s that niggling feeling that something no longer is sitting right within you. We may then decide to buy new clothes, change our hair style or color, add a little Botox here and there, but, at the end of the day, the feeling that something inside needs changing remains. It may come to you in a dream. You may hear it in the echo of your words when speaking. It may be the reflection of yourself in the mirror as you pass by. Mostly, it is you, your spirit, your soul, singling softly in the tune only you can know and hum back.
Renovating the inside. Where to start. First, determine what is no longer working for you. Take some time for quiet reflection. Asking others rarely is helpful as no other person knows your master plan. You and only you know what’s best for you. Ask two people to look at the same thing and ultimately you will arrive with two very different stories about the very same object. It’s just the way it is, everyone views life differently. Thank goodness. Second, determine why it no longer works. Has it outlived its original purpose, is it causing you grief, is the idea outdated and no longer fits into todays world. Is it no longer functional. Third, how will changing or renovating inside make things better. Close your eyes and imagine yourself renovated and imagine how you will feel and how you will move in your new inside space. Are you scared, hesitant or smiling and self-confident. Forth, what will be the cost, to yourself. Do you have the strength and belief in yourself to see it through. Do you have the confidence to believe in your choices when no one else does, agrees or likes your renovation/change. Do you love yourself enough to know with all your heart that this is good for you and you alone and that nothing else matters. I hope you do. For truly, nothing else does matter except that you know deep down in your heart and soul that this is your decision, your plan, your goal, your choice, your path. Happy renovating. Decorate your soul. Believe in your own grand design. You are the architect of your soul.
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down mid flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure. That you are strong and you really do have worth. And you learn and you learn. With every goodbye you learn.”- After Awhile by Veronica A. Shoffstall