“What if I fall? Oh my darling, what if you fly?”- Erin Hanson
Worry. Something we all do most of the time, day and night. Worry occupies our minds activity keeping us focused on others, situations, ourselves, the past. When we exhaust that path, we move on to worry about the future, others, situations, ourselves, what our world will look like in the future. The mind is a glorious vessel containing past, present and future. It enables us to revisit at will, often to our own detriment. Worry is deceptive in that we believe we are able to solve life’s most difficult conundrums with worry.
As we allow our minds to dwell on difficulties or troubles that have happened or we perceive are yet to be, what effect does fret have on ourselves as well as others. Are we able to see the states of anxiousness, agonizing facial expressions, panic and stew in our words and actions that somehow float like noxious gas to others in our presence. Do we recognize how our lack of sleep, unease, nervousness and agitation impacts our most valued relationships at home, work and play.
Worry. A comforting friend to some. An unrecognized toxic relationship to others. Worry fools you into believing that it is the key to controlling your life and especially your relationships. Especially since what you worry about usually never comes to be or your own anxious state causes events to unfold with unexpected drama and grief. Chances are you actually view the world and events as being more dangerous and looming than they actually are. As always, there are exceptions to this rule. If you are currently living in a state of war and fear of trauma or any other crisis induced state happening to you against your will, then fear and worry are justified responses. What I am talking about in this blog is the everyday, where worry makes mountains out of mole hills and where individuals take comfort in these fretful states.
So what then is the alternative to worry? Change your thoughts and you change your world. For every worry where events did not go as planned, come up with three or even one thing that went right. For every negative, search for a positive outcome. Ask yourself, what did I learn about the event or situation, about others, about myself. Ask yourself how worry is impacting your health, physical, emotional, spiritual. Since worry solves no problem, try spending your worry time devising an action plan. A plan of options and outcomes to solve the problem, lessons learned along the way, what will you do differently next time around. Do you need to make apologies and amends. Do you need to forgive yourself understanding that you only have control over yourself and have no control over the actions, words and thoughts of others. Do you need to reflect on how your worry impacts your own life and the life of others.
Finally, when you are exhausted from worrying, attempting to problem solve and make changes to no avail, do not give up. Rather, give your worries away, to God, your Angels, your Spirits, your Universe. Whatever you believe, tell them you are tired and unable, despite your best efforts, to solve the problem or worry. Ask them to help you by doing what’s best for everyone involved. Ask them to protect you and carry your worries. Give up control, give them away with love, gratitude, and faith. Realize that worry is not your friend. Sleep peacefully, live calmly. Breathe. Stay in the present, in this moment. Truly this is all we have. Give your worries away. Take a chance and learn to fly.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia
Photography by Christine Wasnie “Nature Speaks”