Whether or not you are aware, emotional pain is passed on through the generations. The pain suffered by your grandparents passed on to your parents, who then suffered, is passed on to you, your suffering, then passed on to your children and the generations to come. Unless it is recognized, brought into your awareness, confronted, understood and stopped. Awareness and understanding that your role is to end the suffering, release the pain body so future generations can live in peace.
According to Eckhart Tolle who wrote The Power of Now,”the emotional pain body is the main cause of drama, pain and suffering in humanity.” The pain experienced by others in our families is passed onto our children because patterns of behavior are repeated when we don’t know what else to do. Examples may include physical punishment such as spanking, emotional manipulation, boundary issues, dysfunctional communication patterns, issues of power and control, gender role expectations, addictions and abandonment to name a few. The same can be said for our political and cultural beliefs. And when we get together with family members, these pain bodies are often triggered releasing pent-up emotions and reactions. There is no perfect family, but there are families that are willing to acknowledge their generational pain bodies openly, ones that strive to overcome and stop generational dysfunctional patterns, make amends, strive for health for future generations to come.
Most families keep secrets out of shame, fear, abandonment, isolation. Those that begin the process of transparency and change are often ostracised by family members. The overwhelming expectation to keep silent, maintain the status quo. Unfortunately, this expectation keeps the pain body alive and well for future generations to come. Many believe that if they move away to different cities, states, provinces or countries, the pain will be banished forever. Not so. The pain body is carried in our souls, imprinted in our DNA, and carried heavily in the heart space and all the energy of our beings. You can run from it but, you cannot hide. Just ask people who return home for family get togethers, weddings and funerals. In emotional times, everything is re-triggered, flooding to the surface. Like a good bottle of champagne, shaken, the cork blows.
The first step to healing begins with acknowledgement of past generational patterns in the space within you. Let go of guilt and shame for it is those experienced feelings that keep you stuck. Every person has experienced some dysfunction, the severity and depth may differ but, the experiences may be similar in the feeling space. The second step is to communicate openly with someone you trust, a good friend, a therapist or counsellor. The third step is to begin to research ways to live life and create healthy patterns within your own families, breaking the cycle of dysfunction. Remember what ever happened to you is not your fault but, what you do as an adult to others is. When you know better, you can do better. When you understand, you can have empathy and compassion. You cannot change the past but, you can alter the present. What others choose to do or not do with your new-found healthy way of living is not your concern. Staying quiet no longer serves your greatest good. And when you are aware and present to the feelings and emotions within you, you can rise above, be an example for others, speak out, become enlightened. You do not hold the power to change others but, you have the power to change your own behavior. In other words, you can shine and be the whole beautiful person you were brought here to be. Let go of your pain body. Break the cycle. It no longer serves the beautiful soul you are. Release. Let your soul sing.