Recently, I began watching a HBO series called The Newsroom. It is a masterpiece written by Aaron Sorkin and includes the acting brilliance by such individuals as Sam Waterston, whom you might remember in the role of Jack McCoy in the original television series, Law and Order. The premise of The Newsroom is revealing the truth through the news, despite overwhelming obstacles both personal and corporate. But, at the heart of the stories woven through a continuing series, is the interpersonal relationships of the characters living their lives pushing their own truths aside. Compromising their own truth and the truths of people dear to their hearts. Weaving webs that make it increasingly difficult to find truth and happiness as time passes and events unfold.
What is the truth exactly? When you strip away all the b.s. and begin at the beginning, what is the truth at the heart of the matter? Where did it all begin and when did it all begin to fall apart? What are the lies that you began to string together to cover up the truth? The tales told based on half-truths and deceit. The lies constructed to protect your dignity, the lies held close, secrets, that began the process of tearing apart the foundation of your life. It begins with the betrayal of the self in order to cover up the truth. The construction of the web begins, strand by strand, while everything outside the web becomes an illusion of the truth. Lies built upon lies. Relationships begin to crumble, some lives destroyed and torn apart, all for the sake of keeping the truth hidden. The greater the lie, the faster one must weave to continue to hold it all together until the web has become so taught, it can no longer hold anything, not even the truth.
Lies are told to protect ones own ego and sence of power and control. Lies can be addictive in nature, for the feeling one gets from the energy of others fuels their ego in elated ways, despite being fully aware that the lies have plunged the life of another or others into darkness and despair. Those affected by the lies unable to defend themselves, the crowd rallies around the lie tellers, casting out the truth and any hint of light. Lies protect the lie teller despite a deep knowing inside that somehow the stories seem just a bit off. There comes a point of no return to the truth, the new reality of life now entangled with hurt, distrust, tears and sadness, despair and grief.
We all lie. Small ones. Little white lies. The kind usually to protect another from hurt or embarrassment. You know the ones I am talking about. They are lies none the less. The ones I am writing about in this blog are bigger, damaging, life altering. The ones where you have made mistakes so large that you have to lie and keep secrets to protect yourself and your ego, because the truth about yourself is too difficult to confront. There is no protecting the other with this kind of lie. The result, betrayal of the other and your own goodness and light. The lie that has been trapped within the web for so long, that it now becomes your distorted truth. And what is even more disturbing, is that now your whole life and your relationships must be reworked to contain the lie and become the truth. Each time a question asked, the story retold, the person revisited, a playback of past lies must be rewired into the synapses of your memory and story. This takes great draining energy to ensure the story is right and wrong all at the same time. At what point did your ego grow so large that the book of lies took on a life of their own and became the book of truth? Each time you retell the story, the heart hardens just a little bit more.
There are always chances given, offered over time, to tell the truth. People and places and syncronicities of life will surely provide opportunities for truth-telling and the release of the pain carried in your soul. Justice is served in ways we sometimes cannot see. Sometimes not in this lifetime. Holding onto lies for dear life make us sick, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Fear started the lie and feeds it on a continual basis. Your lie has become a web tangled mess, the strands plucked and vibrating with the energy of untruths. Do you have the courage to go back to the beginning untangling each distorted strand along the way? Do you have the strength to right a wrong with the truth? Release the innocent from their prison. Imagine that innocent person locked away for years for a crime they did not commit. Begin living your life based upon the truth, of the matter, of your life, of your soul. Tell the truth always, your own and leave others to honor the truth of their own stories. The truth shall set you free to live the life you were meant to live. Let your soul sing the song of truth, honesty and love.