Emotions. Emotions are as vast as the sea. We all know emotions as we experience them all the time, every day. We define our emotions by the feelings they evoke within and without and sometimes by the responses of others. Emotions are viewed as negative and positive, opposites and somewhere in between. The balance we attempt to obtain through life circumstance. But, are they really positive or negative? I guess it all depends on how comfortable we are with our own emotions, how we express them and whether or not we are allowed to express them in the presence of others. Whether or not we view emotions as weak or strong extensions of ourselves.
Emotions are a language unto themselves. Laughter equates happiness. Perhaps, it is a nervous laughter or a giggle of delight. Maybe just a wide-eyed smile of acceptance, disbelief or shock. How does contentment feel deep down inside? There definitely are levels of happy emotions as some rumble and stir the soul. We can certainly identify our angry emotions. Do you know why you become angry? How do you look when you are angry? Is your face red, does your blood pressure increase, does your body tense? How does your head feel? How do you act out your anger? And then there is sadness with quivering lips, tears, tension felt in the heart space and stomach. Sorrow and grief are a deep level of sadness where the emotions plant themselves like seeds among the tissue and every cell of your body. What do you do with fear?
Our emotions are the language of our soul. They tell us something about the way we react to events and circumstances in our everyday world. We experience them to varying degrees and depths, to the bottom of the emotional ocean. It is vital that we understand the language of our emotions instead of pushing them away, telling ourselves we are silly, feel embarrassed or weak and worse yet, out of control. Emotions are to be welcomed and invited in. It is a time to ask yourself the questions. Why am I feeling this way and what are you trying to tell me? What am I not seeing and what is the lie I have been telling myself? Am I able to tell the difference between anger and sadness? What is going on deep down inside of me? If we understand why we feel the way we do, it is only then we can speak the language of our emotions in acceptable ways, without hurting others or ourselves.
There is a language of emotions we can speak in ways that help and nurture us instead of causing chaos or uncontrolled outbursts. The language holds you accountable for your emotions rather than blaming others. Instead of saying, “You made me angry,” you might try, “When you said this comment, that made me feel sad and angry.” When someone says a statement or does an action that is hurtful you have an opportunity to express your emotion from your own point of view, accepting responsibility for your emotions and how it made you feel. This is what we call emotional maturity. Going and telling someone else how a person made you feel is not. When we choose to keep our emotions bottled up, the result is an erupting volcano when something insignificant triggers our emotions to rise to the surface. The language of our emotions is a component of our everyday language. Telling someone how they made you feel after a compliment is easy and light. Telling someone their words made you feel sad or angry is difficult because we fear judgement, rejection, guilt, disapproval. We prefer instead to tuck it deep down inside. To be quiet and hide our truth.
Learning a new language takes time and patience before being confident enough to speak it out loud. The language of our emotions is no different. And remember, if the person who spoke hurtful words to you has a problem with you taking responsibility for your emotions and voicing that, well then, that is really their problem. Find the courage to learn and speak the language of your emotions. Emotions are not meant to be stored in the basement of your soul. The result of speaking your emotional language will be an increased self-esteem, improved relationships, increased self-respect for self and from others. Less anger I think. More love and tears of joy. Greater truth. And a soul that sings. Can’t forget that, can we!