Do not be alarmed by the title of this blog as the end always signifies a new beginning. I am simply finishing up the story book of my life to this point in time. I am closing it out. Finishing the last chapter, moving on, venturing forth. Saying goodbye. The future holds wide open spaces and new adventures. With blank notebook in hand, a pen and brush along with a pot of gold ink, my future is bright and shining gold. A brand new book is calling to be written. Anything is possible.
I have been blessed with the gifts of flexibility and adaptability. Resilience. Whenever life has thrown me curveballs, I pause, take a deep breath, adapt and carry on. When I was younger this seemed much easier although the blow to my self-esteem harder. Now as I age, recovery takes longer, the blow to my self esteem lighter as I no longer value the opinions of others above my own knowing. I no longer hold tight to what no longer serves me. I let go of those who sap every ounce of my energy and are incapable of loving in a balanced manner. Give and take. There is no room for holding on in my life as that too saps every once of the remaining energy I hold dear in the third act of my life. The energy positive and warm filled with love is what I require to keep my heart beating for as long as is written on my soul.
I have made my peace with the stories I wrote that never came to fruition. These are the greatest sorrows in our lives. The stories we wrote about our hopes and dreams and the life we planned to live. The stories that have now faded into the night of forgotten tears. I have also felt great joy at the stories I have written that I never thought I could write. The stories of people I have met along the way, places I have visited, pictures I have painted, poems and dreams I could not ever have imagined dreaming. The courage to live the life I was meant to live.
For the stories that have lost their hope, I refuse to keep open pages waiting in the book of my life. You cannot hold open pages in your book for “some day”. Instead, I choose to fill them with new ventures waiting patiently to be lived. Those empty pages are like the spaces we keep in our hearts, hoping with each beat, the space will be filled with memories written in the past. But reality and mindful living enlightens us with the knowledge that living in the past in not healthy for the soul. It creates gaps in our present life. One step at a time, we must move forward accepting that the narrative is finished. You cannot continue to write a story when the narrative is simply done. The End.
The beginning. A wide open future. A new book begins. I can smell the newness of the pages and binding. As I open the cover and glance at the blank pages, possibility after possibility comes into focus. Page after page waiting to be written. Page after page waiting to be lived, painted and photographed. Page after page waiting for new characters to arrive. Page after page waiting to be shared. My new book calls to me, where have you been. The book you have just finished has been changing your life for a very long time. The time has come to write the truth of who you are. Accept that the old is finished and let go. Take a deep breath. Smile. Are you ready? Now pick up your pen filled with gold ink and begin to write again.
In closing I am led to acknowledge those I hold close through the trials and tribulations of this journey we call life. These are the people who support and love us without judgement. But until today no one has ever done anything so quietly graceful and beautiful. She simply said, ” I will pray for you.” These are the moments that fill the blank pages of our lives.