Tag Archives: writing

The End

Do not be alarmed by the title of this blog as the end always signifies a new beginning. I am simply finishing up the story book of my life to this point in time. I am closing it out. Finishing the last chapter, moving on, venturing forth. Saying goodbye. The future holds wide open spaces and new adventures. With blank notebook in hand, a pen and brush along with a pot of gold ink, my future is bright and shining gold.  A brand new book is calling to be written. Anything is possible.

I have been blessed with the gifts of flexibility and adaptability. Resilience. Whenever life has thrown me curveballs, I pause, take a deep breath, adapt and carry on. When I was younger this seemed much easier although the blow to my self-esteem harder. Now as I age, recovery takes longer, the blow to my self esteem lighter as I no longer value the opinions of others above my own knowing. I no longer hold tight to what no longer serves me. I let go of those who sap every ounce of my energy and are incapable of loving in a balanced manner. Give and take. There is no room for holding on in my life as that too saps every once of the remaining energy I hold dear in the third act of my life. The energy positive and warm filled with love is what I require to keep my heart beating for as long as is written on my soul.

I have made my peace with the stories I wrote that never came to fruition. These are the greatest sorrows in our lives. The stories we wrote about our hopes and dreams and the life we planned to live. The stories that have now faded into the night of forgotten tears. I have also felt great joy at the stories I have written that I never thought I could write. The stories of people I have met along the way, places I have visited, pictures I have painted, poems and dreams I could not ever have imagined dreaming. The courage to live the life I was meant to live.

For the stories that have lost their hope, I refuse to keep open pages waiting in the book of my life. You cannot hold open pages in your book for “some day”.  Instead, I choose to fill them with new ventures waiting patiently to be lived. Those empty pages are like the spaces we keep in our hearts, hoping with each beat, the space will be filled with memories written in the past. But reality and mindful living enlightens us with the knowledge that living in the past in not healthy for the soul. It creates gaps in our present life. One step at a time, we must move forward accepting that the narrative is finished. You cannot continue to write a story when the narrative is simply done.  The End.

The beginning. A wide open future. A new book begins. I can smell the newness of the pages and binding. As I open the cover and glance at the blank pages, possibility after possibility comes into focus. Page after page waiting to be written. Page after page waiting to be lived, painted and photographed. Page after page waiting for new characters to arrive. Page after page waiting to be shared. My new book calls to me, where have you been. The book you have just finished has been changing your life for a very long time. The time has come to write the truth of who you are. Accept that the old is finished and let go. Take a deep breath. Smile. Are you ready? Now pick up your pen filled with gold ink and begin to write again.

In closing I am led to acknowledge those I hold close through the trials and tribulations of this journey we call life. These are the people who support and love us without judgement. But until today no one has ever done anything so quietly graceful and beautiful. She simply said, ” I will pray for you.” These are the moments that fill the blank pages of our lives.

I Write and I Paint Too

I love reading, writing and no, not arithmetic as the old saying goes, painting. Recalling early memories, I see myself happily painting picture books where the color was already imprinted on the pictures. You simply needed a brush and water to make the pictures magically come to life. I loved how the water moved the colors, blending to create new images. I imagine that is why today, I am enamored with Watercolor and moving paint in loose styles to create unexpected and delightful pictures. Colors blending and forming hard and soft edges in shapes unexpected and surprising. You never know what you might get!

Do I consider myself an artist. Absolutely not! I am a creator and find great joy in simply creating whether it be stories, painting or photography. The sheer abandonment of judgement and opinion from self or others opens the space for creativity to begin. Creating is healthy for my mind, body and soul. I get lost in the process of going within, listening to my soul beckoning me to explore my truth. To express my truth and how I see the world, a limited view of my own experiences and living. An understanding that I know I must create to live my own purpose. To respect my limitations and celebrate my abilities and gifts. To share and trust. To inspire others to abandon everything that others have told them and believed about what they can and can’t do, what they should and shouldn’t. To do what feels right for them.

Last week I painted a picture attempting a loose style of watercolor painting. I was pleased with the process and outcome. I am gently learning to let go of more rigid styles of creating. I post my paintings on social media sites and also enjoy seeing the paintings of other fellow creators. I posted my first loose style painting and the next morning I received a message from a friend whom I not seen in a very long time. You know how it goes, life takes us in different directions and we lose touch. The message was lovely and warm amid the chill of early morning in September. Upon reading the message, my intuition immediately told me that the picture belonged to her. Later that day I went to see her unannounced to deliver the picture as a gift. When I arrived we embraced and I gave the picture to her telling her that I had a deep knowing that she needed this gift at this time in her life.  My intuition never leads me astray and afterwards I question why I ever doubted its wisdom. The connection with my friend was warm and emotional. Yes, indeed life has been a challenge for her of late. Challenges we all face when life hits us like a wave, submerging us over and over struggling for air and breath. Understanding.

Creating and creations are meant to be shared, gifted with love. Creations are very much like the growth stages of our life. They begin in infancy, an idea, a spark of light. We choose to either nurture this idea giving it form and hope or we simply deny the possibility tossing it away. It is the energy we decide upon to either feed the spark or snuff it out that determines the outcome. As we feed it with inspiration and love it grows like a new baby. There are times when it falls but, if you don’t fall, pick yourself back up, you will never learn to keep on going. Persevere. As we find the courage to clean out the negative energy from our minds, the voice that says you are not good enough, that you could never create or comparisons to others, a new adventure begins. There is no greater judge than yourself and the voice in your own head which keeps you stuck. Everyone of us lives with the ability to have an idea. 

I started by taking one beginner class. I was blessed with a great teacher and artist who has the patience of a saint. Today, I continue to take his classes as he inspires me with his outlook on life and painting. He shares his gift with others in beautiful ways. And I still believe I am divinely guided in all my creations including writing this blog. But then again, aren’t all creations touched by the hand of God, Angels and Guides. Lighting our purpose. If you allow yourself to create, I can tell you this, you too will feel the touch of Divine inspiration. And once you do, there is no going back. Creating is what we are brought here to do. We were all created to create. To dream our dreams and bring them to life. Imagine that!